Mentors: Lessons from Family Offices

Author

Mr FamilyOffice
January 26, 2024

Mentors: Lessons from Family Offices

Early in my career, a senior tax lawyer took me under his wing. He was a wily finance veteran with a storied career that had included leadership positions in major banks across the world

As a friend of the family office principal, he had semi-retired to the family office at around the time I was starting out. We first bonded over drinks on a company trip and didn’t look back

He was a man to admire with a wry sense of humor and an appetite for life. But beyond the friendship, he gave me invaluable direction. He encouraged me to take professional qualifications, personal development courses and was always on hand with book recommendations. He advocated for me to take on special projects and helped me map out a career path. He gave me advice on writing, negotiating and dealing with people. He helped me focus on value add activities

Although now long retired, we remain in touch (by letters and the occasional lunch). He is still a sounding board for ideas – a voice of reason and wisdom. I’m lucky to have met him

I’ve also been lucky enough to have a senior family member as a mentor. I have benefitted from his deep entrepreneurial spirit and operating experience. I have also picked up tips on resilience, decision-making and consistency. I still learn from him almost every day

In recent years, the tide has shifted, and I've found myself in the role of a mentor to a select group of individuals. Serving as a mentor has proven to be an incredibly rewarding experience, seeing the tangible impact I can have on young people. I also surprise myself with how much I have to offer. Turns out that I've accumulated some knowledge over the years!

The Role of Mentors in Family Offices

Mentors support the success and longevity of family offices. The durability of family offices can hinge on the cohesive collaboration between family members, generations, and family office employees

Mentors can be a bridge between generations, helping to prepare the next generation for the challenges and responsibilities that come with their role. Mentors support continuous learning and organizations that continually learn usually flourish

Mentors can help guide family members through critical decisions while preserving values and legacy. It's not an exaggeration to say that mentors help shape the next generation of family office leaders

They transfer financial and operating knowledge, including insights on:

  • wealth management

  • investment strategies

  • client relations

The Transformative Impact of Mentors

Mentors can make a world of difference. The impact of mentors extends far beyond guidance; they become instrumental in shaping crucial, life-altering moments for mentees

These transformational moments have the potential to define individuals' trajectories

In my case, it was well-timed advice on professional education and steering me away from low-value activities. Advice that had an outsized impact

The Importance of Mentorship in Wealthy Families

Wealthy families have a rich source of mentors for their children, whether from the family office, operating business, or the family network

Effective family offices help ensure that suitable mentors are available at the right time in the lives of the next generation as well as family office employees

While mentorships can be a formal process, in my experience, wealthy families tend to opt for a more informal approach. Rather than formally requesting mentorships, parents may ask experienced colleagues or acquaintances to advise their kids on X or talk to them about Y. From there, relationships can blossom

I get a lot of cold emails and DMs from people asking me to mentor them. I admire the initiative, but the answer is always no. First up, there are just not enough hours in the day to take on new mentees, and second, I prefer the informal organic approach

The best way to find a mentor is not to ask someone to be your mentor, but to ask them for advice

 

Encouraging Mentorship at Any Level of Wealth

Whatever level of wealth you have, you can encourage your kids to seek advice from smart people and ask your friends to guide your kids. The importance of being an outsider is crucial in mentorship dynamics.

As outsiders, mentors have a less emotionally charged relationship than parents and children. Mentors are better positioned to provide a balanced perspective. Outsiders can help mentees develop emotional intelligence and awareness. Any parent who coaches kids' sports will know that advice from another coach usually lands far better than parental advice

Family offices occasionally turn to professional agents to support specific projects. For example, agents may specialize in financial education and help design bespoke training programs to support the specific goals of the family member

Mentor Benefits and the Transition Between Generations

When senior family office staff act as mentors to younger family members, the mentor benefits too. However old you are, you can learn new perspectives. Younger generations can help teach old dogs new tricks!

A lot of family offices peter out when the patriarch or matriarch retires or passes away

This is because the younger generation often don’t have a connection with their parents’ advisors. A mentor relationship helps advisors transition from one generation to the next, understanding the motivation, outlook, and approach of the next generation

 

Building Chemistry and Trust in Mentorship

Chemistry is vital in mentorship. You can’t force relationships, and you can’t force a mentor relationship

This underscores the importance of adopting an informal approach to mentorships, allowing younger family members to interact with multiple senior advisors and move forward with those they gel with

Mentors and mentees must feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics, so cultivating a trusting relationship is crucial

 

Reflection on Mentorship

The role of mentors in family offices extends beyond professional guidance

It’s about personal development, family values, and legacy preservation

Enduring multi-generational family offices understand the contribution of mentors and actively cultivate mentorships for the next generation of family members and family office employees

𝕏 highlights

Share your mentor stories:

Family office compensation

On futurology (see podcast below)

📚 what to read

I recently listened to Born a Crime by Trevor Noah (I would recommend the audiobook - Trevor Noah performs it brilliantly). A poignant and often hilarious account of Trevor Noah’s upbringing in South Africa as it transitioned from apartheid. The chapter “Go Hitler” is something to behold

📻 what to listen to

The Next Five podcast from the Financial Times explores what will happen in the next five years. Fascinating near-term futurology coving topics such as AI, automation and sustainability

📺 what to watch

Very very late to the party on this one. I must be getting old… I loved Oppenheimer… at home, over three nights, and with the subtitles on 🤷‍♂️

📰 family offices news roundup

And finally…

My next task: practice what I preach

I need to think about appropriate mentors for my kids as they slowly start thinking about further education and careers

They have strong role models in sports, but its time they had more guidance in other areas of their life

If you have great mentor stories - particularly in a family office context - I’d love to hear about them

Until next time, see you on 𝕏

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